8-25-89- Orlando, FL & Ila

We started the day out as usual.  I picked Dustin up from his crib, went to the mirror and I kissed and kissed on his checks.  Then again, I pressed my check against him and we just looked in the mirror at each other.  He smiled and I kept saying the I love you words, or course I told him how handsome he was.

We packed the car, Dustin and Paige were in the car seat in front with me, and dad had the back seat to himself.  (I know I know that wasn't safe to have both car seats up front, back in 89 we didn't worry too much of these kinda things.)  We left Guyton, Griffin Lakes, GA and made it to Orlando, FL in 6 hours.

Our first stop was at Uncle James salon that he owned outside of Orlando.  We were so happy to see Ila.  Her Aunt Denise was there too.  A mutual friend of Denise, Sherry was there also.  Everyone gooed over Dustin.  He got lots of hugs and kisses.  Ila was so beautiful, 7 years old.  Uncle James permed her hair and it was perfect!

We went to the back of the salon where there was like a studio apartment.  Ila got to help feed and change Dustin.  He was so bubbly and happy.  We had fun, and Paige did sit back and let Ila play with her baby doll.  Then it was time to get ready to go to Kissimmee and stay with friends, Steve & Monie, that we knew since we lived in Orlando before moving to GA.  We always stayed with them when we went to pick Ila up in the summers.

Uncle James would always buy Ila school clothes when she visited him every summer.  She always got a new hairdo too.  When I lived in Orlando after my separation/divorce from his brother and until I remarried Butch, Uncle James helped me too.  I paid all my bills, he would buy me clothes, and helped co-sign for a car too.  I even got my hair done by him too.

We were getting in the car.  I put Dustin and Paige in their car seats, this time they were in the back and dad was gonna drive.  Ila was getting ready to go with us too and Uncle James said no.  His reason was that it was gonna be his last night, Friday, to see her for basically another year.  Ila wanted to go with us.  Uncle James wouldn't budge.  And I was momma.  The power of Uncle James providing for us, over took me, and I was weak up against what he wanted.  This is complicated to explain with family issues, but the moms who have been up against this understand what I'm about to say.   I guess I had that feeling that I "owed" him and I had to do what he wanted.  I wanted Ila to go with us, Ila was pleading with me to go.  But, he wanted her to stay one more night up against the next year.  Let me make another excuse:  I'm a Libra and we are the scales of justice, balance and fairness.  I felt powerless to do what I wanted with my child, and I wanted her with me too!  I cowered to Uncle James.  Money has power don't it?!!

Ila stood there with her pleading face.  I looked into those "please momma" eyes.  Looking back...for the first 7 years of her life I don't think I made a mistake that would scar her before this moment.  My heart hurt looking into her eyes because I was cowering to the power of money.  In reality, just being momma had more power.  It took a long time and more mistakes to realize the reality of this.  It's like I left her standing there, well I did leave her standing there.  Thinking I made a fair choice for one last night up against another year.  And after all Ila will have her brother all the time once we leave the weekend and head back to GA.  Of course this decision wasn't so bad when I took it all for granted.

I will never forget her look, to this day I can cry over it....and then I make another mistake with her with careless words before the weekend is over....

My children, husband & I had joy in our home!

Oldest sister Ila was spending time in Orlando with her grandma, aunt and uncle for the summer.  She was getting spoiled there.  Uncle James really loves his niece, Ila, and doted on her.

Butch, Paige and myself were going about our life with Dustin.  I would video every chance I had.  The teens would come over on the weekend and we would video with them too.  

Dustin was becoming a momma's boy too!  Really, probably moreso he became his sister Paige's baby doll.  Paige wanted to do everything. I would video her playing baby doll with Dustin too.  She loved pushing him in his stroller when we were outside. She was really a help outside because I laid in the sun to get a tan. 

Life was great.  I was 27 years old and my husband just turned 30.  He had a good job and I was able to be a stay at home mom.  That's the best blessing for a mom, and also for the family. 

The summer was great!  Now it's time to go get Ila from Orlando and bring her back home.  The day before we had to go was August 24, 1989.  This was a day with Dustin.  Just him and I went to the grocery store.  He would not stay in his seat while I shopped.  He insisted that I hold him and carry him while I shopped.  Of course momma held him so he wouldn't cry or fuss.  He would try to kiss my face a lot.  

On the drive home he cried the whole time in his car seat.  When I got to the dirt road to Griffin Lakes where I lived , I stopped the car and took him out of his seat and held him up on my chest while I drove the short distance to my house.  Dustin stopped crying when I held him. He kept trying to kiss me on my face again and it was so sweet.  

We got home and I started packing to get ready to go to Orlando the next day...